‘Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.’ Isaiah 42:10
As most people, I wake up and go through the upcoming day in my head:
Get up early, shower, get salmon out of freezer, wave Isaac off to school, go in oxygen, have breakfast, work on laptop, go to town to collect clothes ordered for Isaac and buy food for BBQ tomorrow/Saturday dinner with friends, have lunch, more work on laptop, video consultation with Superprof where may find out how long have left to live, teach piano lesson, collect 3 boys from school, give them dinner, teach second piano lesson, boys to Scouts, online church Bible study, Isaac back from Scouts, bed for Isaac, bed for us.
What? I hear you cry. You shouldn’t be doing most of this today!
I beg to differ. It is a choice. The alternative is far worse:
Stay in bed as still feeling rough from crash, wallow, cry, finally drag self into shower, bemoan lack of hair (hair disappearing by stealth- not falling out but thinning by the day, scientist Steve explaining that it has stopped renewing, thanks), sit around with sense of increasing dread, cry some more, have video appointment, dwell, cry, get someone else to collect Isaac and look after him, see him for few mins at bedtime, dwell and cry some more.
I realise that it is just like when I was trying to write an opera whilst juggling family life; except this time the juggling helps and eases rather than hinders. There will be tears today, I am sure of it, but we are not sitting in fear as we know that God has us in the palm of his hand and the only thing that we are really finding out today is his will for me, which cannot be anything but perfect.
We log into the video consultation at 3 p.m, imaginary Scan Results Bingo Cards at the ready. There are some words on the cards which are guaranteed to come up: Bowel, Liver, Lungs, Ovary, CEA (tumour markers). But which of the others will be announced by Superprof the Bingo Caller? Stable? Shrinkage? Progression? Working? Failed? Surgery? (Popped that one on the card just in case)
Pencils at the ready, we remind ourselves again that there is no luck here, no chance, and that all will be well.
When Superprof appears on the screen, I immediately try to read his face. He is smiling- but then again he is always smiling. He doesn’t waste any time.
‘It’s good news,’ Prof relates, his smile widening.
What?
I didn’t put those words on my bingo card. We haven’t had much experience of good news so far, humanly speaking. We didn’t expect the tears that would flow today to be happy ones…
As Superprof talked us through the scan results, we were able to joyfully cross off the following words and phrases: ‘shrinkage everywhere’, ‘tumour markers finally plumetted’, ’50 percent reduction in the liver and lungs.’
Irene, you quiet heroine! She definitely, definitely heard your singing. Thank you.
Above all we are so deeply, deeply thankful to God for giving us this reprieve that we so desperately need. Four further chemo cycles are now planned now instead of the orginal two, so we know where we are for the next couple of months. There was even talk of Lydia’s wedding: Prof was delighted to hear about it and was not at all ruffled at the prospect of me travelling to Cyprus. Maybe Cinderella will go to the ball after all…
‘In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:18
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I’m so, so happy for you all. Grace sufficient for the day. What a wonderful Saviour we serve, so tender and kind and never gives us more than we can bear.
I have been captivated by your previous two blogs but still not replied, (I was remembering back to being neighbours and seeing Michael as a toddler, hearing him chattering away in the garden then Lydia arrived, then shortly followed by Arianne and thinking where are they all going to sleep!😃. Then so soon after you had gone, moved to your new home.) You have accomplished so much, you are just so talented and incredibly kind and patient too,
what wonderfully positive Fantastic news, I am so so happy for you ❤️
Oh that is such happy and positive news. How wonderful and totally agree with your amazing busy days…Keep on going with all you are doing…prayers, love and strength as always. Enjoy this sunny weather and the boys this eve. xxx
oh Sam! The BEST news!!! Your positivity and fighting spirit (and everything else you are doing!) is working!!! Such good news! Celebrations for you tonight!!! Xx
Multi-tasking – singing, praying and dancing after reading this happy news! ❤️Xxx
Brilliant news! PTL! Made my day here in Transylvania.
Sam, just brilliant – positive attitude sends those nasty cells away – love it 🥰 💓
WOW!
Never saw that coming!
Settled down to read another long and interesting blog and bang – COME ON IRENE!!!!!
Wonderful news Sam – well done you!
Have a great weekend.
Sending love as always.
Kay
💜
x
Sam I am so very happy to hear this and tearful myself. Just what we wanted to hear. Sending lots of love to you xx
hi Sam,
spent my Monday evening catching up on your blogs. I’m amazed at all you’ve done and achieved. Loved reading about the birth of your music lessons.
So so thrilled by your latest news, Superprof is clearly a wonderful man and I’m so happy that he’s looking after you.
sending you love and very best wishes.
Elaine xx
Thank you, so glad you are enjoying the stories. And yes we are so happy to be with SuperProf. Xx