23 February 2024

‘Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord’ Psalm 31:24

Well hello, dear readers! Here I am in our newly-installed home oxygen chamber, feeling as if I am in a plane that is descending way too fast and constantly needing to pop my ears. That’s just while the chamber is pressurising; once at pressure, all suddenly becomes calm, the steady flow of oxygen into my mask kicks in and I can lie back breathing deeply. Whilst writing this blog of course…

So what’s new? Not much! Big things are coming up, and we are doing our best to stay calm and be mentally prepared for them. But this week- half term- has been wonderful. I was apprehensive about going to Dorset in prime chemo crash territory but it turned out to be the best thing. Surrounded by lovely family and gorgeous landscapes- and helped by the spring-like sunny weather- I took the crash by the scruff of the neck and told it who is boss. My wobbly legs tried to protest but I persuaded them to shut up and walk, which they grudgingly did. On the most difficult day, I whipped out my secret weapon the scooter and sailed along the prom with the wind in my hair. And just two days later I tentatively mounted my bike to see if a ride would be possible- 2 hours and a single-track mountain biking route later and that question was answered. Woo hoo!

We had a follow-up consultation with Doc Brains yesterday (COC, repurposed drugs, keep up..) and he is very happy with how I am doing on the outside: like everyone else, he is wondering what is going on on the inside and has offered us a free post-scan consultation. How many private consultants would do that? He is awesome, and what’s more we always come out of meetings with him bouyed up. He said that he is more than happy with my blood results and that it is unheard of for someone in chemotherapy to have such an excellent lymphocyte reading- lymphocytes usually drop completely on chemo which means that immunity can be dangerously low and infection a real risk. I haven’t so much as had a cold for the last 4 months, despite living with a 10-year old who always seems to be coughing and spluttering… the mysteries continue.. I’m healthy but not healthy…

Doc Brains wants to keep an eye on my weight as I am struggling to stay above 7 stone and the Metformin I am taking can cause weight loss (did I see some ears prick up at this? Believe me, you don’t want to be on diabetic medication unless you can help it..) . But I’ve added in a daily piece of toast (with Marmite, obvs) as a post-green smoothie reward, and am eating more chicken to try to get the protein up. And because you can’t try too many things in this situation, our newest venture in the quest for superfoods involves me trying to persude my fingers that they are green really despite me killing most things that I’ve ever tried to grow- yes, cute little kits have arrived so that we can sprout our own seeds and grow microgreens- infant versions of vegetables such as kale and broccoli which have 40 times the nutrients of the fully grown plants.

This is however a definite improvement on the horticultural project that Steve had in his head for a while. Whilst I was momentarily tempted by the idea of him starting up a small medicinal cannabis farm on the top floor of the house, on the basis that it would make a most entertaining blog post, I persuaded him that it was probably taking things too far. Cancer blog meets Breaking Bad isn’t going to happen just yet, terribly sorry to disappoint.

Last day of half term today, and a lovely time hanging out with the big kids and teeny grandson. We decided to have an arty afternoon, so headed to Hobbycraft and each chose something to make or paint. Art therapy, just what the doctor ordered!

So here we go into the unknown. We have lots of lovely things coming up including a weekend away (albeit in Birmingham as Isaac is playing flute there, but we’ve found a lovely spa hotel to chill at)- but it is difficult to see past the next few days for now. We take comfort from the fact that we trust in a God who does know everything and will do right.

Why droop our hearts–why flow our eyes While such a voice we hear? Why rise our sorrows and our fears, While such a Friend is near?’ William Mason (1724-1797)