20 January 2024

‘And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.’ Isaiah 58:11

Busy, busy, busy…. too busy to blog… It sounds strange to say it, but I’m quite enjoying my new life, except for the reason for it of course. I used to see friends a few times a year due to hectic work schedules, but now have the pleasure of seeing treasured people several times a week. I’m walking every day and enjoying the countryside that surrounds our village. And most waking moments in the house are spent transcribing my old music into modern format or composing new music. Bliss!

But. Steve said that blog I must today, both to confirm that I am alive and well, plus to impart the breaking news that I am wearing my jeans for the first time since September. This is monumental as I wasn’t sure if I would ever wear them again. Even when the waistband started to fit around Christmas time, they looked like clown’s trousers on my ravaged frame, (ok so that’s a bit dramatic) but I have regained enough flesh to wear the SMALLER PAIR THAT ALWAYS FELT A BIT TIGHT (please allow me just a little satisfaction at this point).

This week I have been entirely pain-free, not even a sneaky niggle, which has been wonderful and meant that I have been able to enjoy each and every little thing- driving everywhere, school and music lesson runs, a little teaching, weight training and other physio exercises even when attached to my little pump…

Yes, it’s been a chemo week, but happily nothing to report. It doesn’t seem like a big deal any more. I rock up to the hospital and immediately open up my laptop to start work, hardly noticing the nurses coming back and forth to stuff me with with various toxic medications and saline flushes. This week when I went back to get unplugged on Thursday, I had the treat of being joined by Bridesmaid Becca, who was driving up north from Brighton and the Spire Harpenden was handily on the way. No matter that there was only a sofa near the entrance to sit on for our three-hour catch up, it was wonderful. Friends since we were eighteen, sharing a crazy, unforgettable year working as au pairs in Washington D.C and everything in our lives over the years since. When I went in for the appointment, Nurse Becca herself was there so I simply had to take the opportunity to introduce Bridesmaid Nurse Becca to Nurse Becca- yes, it’s true, Bridesmaid Becca is also a nurse which makes her the orginal Nurse Becca. Got it yet?!

It’s time for the introduction of a new character in this story…meet Dr McLovely. Fellow residents of Knebworth will know exactly who I am talking about without any need for elaboration.

Knebworth Surgery called to say that she has been assigned to my case in place of the doc that I initially saw (the ‘it’s definitely appendicitis… oh no it’s not’ guy). I was delighted to hear that: not only was I unaware that I get a named GP in this situation, but Doc McLovely is the nicest and most wonderful one you could ever imagine. I had only seen her once before over the 28 years we have lived in Knebworth, mainly because it would have been easier to secure an audience with the queen, but Doc McLovely reassured me this week that I am now on her ‘TLC’ list (love it) and can see her the same day, any day, about anything. Wow. And she showed that she was completely invested in my case by writing everything down, asking questions, even examining my tummy (that was novel: no other doc or even nurse has been bothered to view its deflated magnificence for a good while now).

Dr McLovely showed great interest in the repurposed drugs and said that she also has a license to prescribe them and would do so for me, meaning that I will be able to get them for free! She is also going to phone me the day after our next consultation with Count Onc, to chat it through. Amazing. It’s so wonderful when you really feel that someone is on your side.

Today is a Chemo Crash day but I continue to fight back. Wobbly legs? No problem, a commuter-scooter is the answer! I borrowed Steve’s to run a flurry of errands around the village with Isaac (also on scooter) this morning, flying effortlessly down the hills and using the scooter to lean on when struggling with the ups. Perfect.

So all is on a level at the moment and we are so, so grateful to God. We will find out from Count Onc this week what he is plotting- whether one or three more chemo cycles before rescans. He originally proposed 6-8 cycles: we are hoping for the full eight as it is going well, plus it would be good for the new drugs to have a chance to work before scans. Plus, I’m scared. I feel so well but we don’t know what’s really going on inside me, and I know the scans and follow up appointments will take a LOT of courage.

But God has been so very merciful to us and we know that this will not change, thus that courage will be found. For now, I hope that you all enjoy your weekends as much as I’m enjoying mine 😃.