30 NOVEMBER 2023

Well these pictures will no doubt answer some burning questions, and incite some more… join me for a whistle stop tour of the last six days.

Six days? Oh dear, that’s a long time to leave a cliffhanger hanging… I’m sorry, everything merges together in a blur, defined more clearly by struggles and triumphs rather than the sun rising or setting.

However most of my dear readers found out the happy news of The Great Escape either through Facebook or messaging me: ‘I can’t wait any longer- did you get to Dorset?’ We did.

I last left you in the Majors section of A and E (aka comfy reclining chair haven), waiting for the doctor-who-probably-shouldn’t-be-a-doctor to confirm if I did or didn’t have an infection. Happily Ms FakeDoc was rather aware of her incompetence and escalated the question to a very nice consultant who, in contrast to his colleague, was clearly in the right job. He had the wherewithal to compare my blood results with those from my last A and E jamboree on 30 October. He told me that my inflammation markers have dropped by over a third since then, which confirms that Bertha did genuinely deflate! And of course the reason I still have fairly high inflammation markers just means I have some inflammation rather than a new infection: duh, tell me something I don’t know. So at 4.30 pm I was finally allowed out. Could we pack for the weekend from scratch, chuck it all in the car and leave by 7? You bet we could.

As we tore down the A1 it felt like we were in a scene from Thelma and Louise, with the additional character of a 10 year-old in the back. We had done it- escaped the Lister, escaped Hertfordshire, escaped cancer just for a little while. Wooooo!

We were actually staying with Steve’s parents in Barton-on-Sea just over the border into Hampshire, as firstly Cloud 9 (the Bournemouth Airbnb that we own) had guests in and secondly Steve was in desperate need of a break and looking forward to a bit of pampering from his parents.

And that’s what we all got- the total relaxation of staying in someone else’s house, plus a constant stream of people to see: my parents, a visit to Barton Beach in the wheelchair and lovely chat with dear friends Paul and Nikki (whom I shall call Paul and Nikki) whilst their two boys and Isaac clambered over the huge rocks and played hide-and-seek until the sun began to set. And what a sunset:

You can probably tell that this Neanderthal technophobe has finally worked out how to insert photos 😃.

Fab evening with the amazing Christchurch Jelletts (you’ve made it into the blog, congratulations!): Mad Photographer Joan, Mad DIYer Peter, genuinely lovely teeenagers (they do exist) Tim and Luca. I enjoyed breathing in the aroma of everyone’s steak sizzling on the hot plate whilst tucking into my usual green fare. Said no-one ever…

Sunday: it was wonderful to be in church in person and PLAY THE PIANO! It felt so good to be playing the hymns again.

A lovely Sunday roast- I had some greens and gravy plus a spoonful of the inside of a potato as a one-off. Yum! Then a trip to Cloud 9 as the guests had left, to sort a few things and decorate it for Christmas. Which felt very weird as Christmas really isn’t on our radar this year. What, you’re telling me that it’s December tomorrow? Doesn’t that mean Elves and advent calendars and stuff? Oh help…

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Cloud 9… after an all-too-brief time in our favourite oasis we headed to see Mum and Dad for one last time before’t big trip oop North…

Happily the journey was straightforward and we arrived home in time to sort things for school, work and of course a blood test in the morning that would dictate whether chemo was On or Off this week…

Introducing Marvellous Monday Judy, one of my oldest friends from the village: the oldest bit referring to the age of our friendship rather than that of Judy, who is an ageless, dynamic, super-fit runner and year-round cold water swimmer, not to mention all-round lovely friend who has offered to be at my disposal any and every Monday. Today’s assignment was a drive to the Spire Spa for a coffee morning- and a little blood test on the side.

After bloods had been taken Judy was shown into my (not purple) room and we were treated to a tray of refeshments whilst waiting for the pharmacist to pop by. Just had to indulge in another of those cans of still water…not to mention a good chat with Judy- we didn’t emerge from the room until a while after the pharmacist had gone.

She brought me some serious-looking anti-sickness meds, the first of which was to be taken an hour before chemo. But first I had to go back home and pretend not to be clock-watching until 6 pm (if no phone call from a nurse by then, bloods are fine for chemo).

Tick tick tick… 4 pm, 5 pm… tick tick… 5.07… tick…5.09…tick tick tick tick 5.53 Isaac arrives home so I completely forget about the 6 pm thing and it is well past when I realise.

‘Woo hoo, chemo’s on! Steroids here I coooooommmmmme!’

Chemo Series 1 Episode 2

I felt like an old timer, rocking up nice and relaxed, happily settling into my allocated PURPLE room (at last!) and adding more shades of purple to the palette:

I’d decided to go for optimum comfort, which meant super soft nightie and cashmere socks, and tucked myself up into bed all ready for the forthcoming infusions. Bring it on!

Until my nurse for the day, the lovely Paula, casually mentioned that actually chemo might not be able to go ahead due to inflammatory markers in my bloods. Oh not these pesky things again, trying to spoil my fun! I explained about the debarcle at the Lister about these markers, and she went to talk to the pharmacist… after a tortuous wait she re-appeared heralding promising looking bags of drugs and a cheery ‘all good!’. Phew! Aside from the fact that I really wanted chemo, my darling youngest daughter Ariane had made a great effort to bring me here and be with me today- plus I’d told her great things about the food…

An uneventful day: a lot of lying back relaxing whilst the machine gently pumped toxins into me. This week’s playlist was an amazing one put together by the children and families of St Joseph’s in the Park – my lovely school, my workplace and second home for the last 14 years and half a term, just half… But the playlist made me smile as it cleverly featured so many of the songs and music that I have taught the children over the years, as well as plenty of toe-tapping feel-good numbers!

And if yesterday was Ladies who Coffee, today was Ladies who Lunch. Ariane and I enjoyed our exquisitely prepared meals and I even found something in the perfect colour:

We arrived home in time for me to catch the end of Isaac’s flute lesson, which was lovely. However I soon became aware of some much more unwelcome visitors: extreme tiredness, nausea, tummy ache and an acute sensitivity to cold that I was warned might appear this time…so much for my hoped-for 3 days of dancing on the ceiling! This continued through the whole of Wednesday, happily no actual sickness but the nausea was enough to mean that it took me all day to drink two thirds of my breakfast smoothie, and lunch or dinner were out of the question.

However, I woke up this morning feeling on top of the world- nausea gone, all tummy pain gone- heck, she’s deflated again!! Yup, Big Bertha is really not so big now. All of these things caused me to practically leap out of bed and delight in helping Steve get Isaac ready for school, which was a particularly good thing today as Steve was off to work in London for the first time since this all began. It was also his work Christmas party this evening, so I’m hoping Steve will have a lovely day seeing different skies, colleagues, eating some awesome London food and topped off by letting his hair down completely when it’s party time. Seeing me in such a good way this morning will have made it a lot easier for him to enjoy all of these things.

Which brings me to The Toast. I didn’t think the right day for The Toast would be so soon, but it was the first thing on my mind when I woke up. What do you feel like when recovering from a dodgy tummy? Would you choose a bright green smoothie or a lovely piece of toast with BUTTER and MARMITE, crunchy around the edges and soft where the toppings have melted together in their beautiful dance? Yup, me too. And it felt and tasted right. I needed this. I have lost a stone in weight recently and need to somehow put it back on. I’m sure that the occasional toast or spoonful of quinoa is not going to jeapordise my overall plan to torture the cancer cells with food misery…

So I shall leave you with the toast, a great place to stop. I have no idea what the next few days will bring, but am resting in the fact that in everything we are being gently led and constantly uplifted:

‘He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young… He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.’

Isaiah 40: 11,29