4 NOVEMBER 2023

‘The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence. I will call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.’ 2 Samuel 22: 2-4

I married into a family that is just a little obsessed with DIY. Steve grew up helping his Dad, Allan, build extensions to their house- the whole works from digging foundations and bricklaying to plumbing and electrics. All self taught (‘how hard can it be?’), but to an impressively good standard, so much so that if a Jellett man is ever persuaded to get a tradesperson in (inevitably by their wife who has had enough of evenings and weekends being consumed by DIY), they watch from the sidelines getting more and more frustrated that they could have done a better job. (Except perhaps for the time that a ‘real’ plumber looked at what Steve had done in the attic with utter disbelief, saying he had never before seen a reproduction of the London Underground map in pipes…)

It comes as no surprise, then, that in the absence of any treatment for my cancer to date, that a DIY approach would ensue. Not a ‘quack’ attempt at cure, but a carefully-researched regime with the aim of helping relieve my symptoms and perhaps slow the progress of the nasties.

My day starts with a kick: a teaspoon of raw garlic juice on an empty stomach. A refreshing drink of fenugreek water ensues, washed down with a teaspoon of black seed oil (think petrol). My reward is a keto smoothie (positively gorgeous by comparison ) and a couple of natural supplements, one reassuringly named ‘Turkey tail’ (extracted from a mushroom as opposed to the Christmas bird…). The rest of the day heralds keto meals interspersed with more supplements and various teas (fresh ginger, soursop leaves… yup, I’d never heard of them before either). For a girl who only used to drink water or wine depending on the time of day, even drinking tea feels like a feat of endurance, but one that I an happy to undertake if it brings some glimmer of relief.

So this weekend sees the start of the Great Influx of visitors. My Mum and Steve’s parents arrived yesterday, one brother-in-law and sister-in-law will join us later and the others tomorrow. Like Christmas without the presents, and maybe not quite as joyful but there will be plenty of smiles and more love than the house will be able to contain.

I feel like a queen for all the wrong reasons, holding court and observing a flurry of activity amongst my loyal palace staff; children and grandparents working together to stocktake, plan, shop and cook. I have the best family in the world.

The Ups and Downs continue; there was a time yesterday when my body overwhelmed me and I felt that nothing was working anymore, panicking that I couldn’t get enough oxygen. But Steve, ever practical, whizzed to Boots and came back brandishing a blood oxygen monitor, which confirmed that my levels were as good as his, and I was able to relax. So much so that when the rest of the masses went out to the school fireworks, Steve and I cosied up on the sofa as if it were a normal Friday evening, and finally watched the last episode of Manifest (imagine dying without knowing the ending when you’ve worked your way through 4 seasons!). We also had a wonderful chat about spiritual things and both felt so calm and upheld by the Lord God. I slept much better last night as a result; staying calm when I awoke in pain at 5 am and letting a heat pad work its magic rather than reaching for the morphine.

‘In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.’ 2 Samuel 22:7